Day 88

"So free for the moment, lost somewhere between the earth and the sky. So free for the moment, lost because I wanna be lost. Don't try to find me."

The Martinis - "Free"

I am grateful for this cheesecake…and this tea latte. I am grateful for the fact that I can simply walk out of my house, get in a car, drive myself wherever I please with no one to stop me. I am grateful that the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf was open and that there was seating outside on the patio. I am grateful for the streetlight, the neon sign, and all the hotel and restaurant lights that make an otherwise dirty Ventura Blvd glow at night. I am grateful for this chair and this cool breeze. I am grateful for the bed I get to go home to and the air in my lungs. I am grateful for the clothes on my back and I am grateful to the people who made them.

As I sit here and look around, I am in awe. There is so much I take for granted every day. The freedom I wake up with each morning. I did not fully know this freedom as a child. No one did. When I was young I had a bed time, a curfew, there was a required height for the best roller coasters, no driving until you’re sixteen, no drinking until you’re 21! So many rules! I dreamed of the day I would be an adult, my own person…with keys and a credit card. :-)  I couldn’t wait for the day to come…and now…its here. Has been for a while actually...cough cough...30 and what not! And I have been taking it for granted. This freedom. This ability to go and do and be. But tonight as I walked out of my house I tried to be fully aware. From walking out of the house…I am grateful to have this house and for these legs that carry me down its front steps…to getting in my car…I am grateful for this car and to my Mom and brother for teaching me to drive…the streetlights and signs that help keep us safe on the road, the headlights that light the way, the freedom to choose wherever I want to go. Each and every step of tonight’s journey, I tried to be fully aware of the freedom, the blessings, that I have. And the fact that I ended up with cheesecake and a latte ain’t too shabby either! As I paid for these items, I was grateful for my job and my boss, to my parents who taught me a good work ethic, and to Kat who I can hear in my head saying “Treat yo’self!”

In the hustle and bustle, the responsibilities that come with life, I am reminded that the freedoms I longed for as a girl are now mine. I should take a moment to really enjoy them once in a while. Like tonight.

Day 88: I am grateful for the freedoms adulthood offers. But I am also grateful for the rules that I was held to as a child…for they kept me safe, taught me responsibility, and help me to appreciate all I have now.