Day 40

"Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home."
 

There are days that I come home from work, walk through the door, and immediately get sad. Sad because there are dishes in the sink, dog hair on the floor, dirty clothes, windows, tables, etc... I walk in to my home and just see all the work that needs to be done. It doesn't happen every day, but it does happen from time to time. More often than I'd like. So, I've been trying to work on that....looking at it in a different way.

When I see the dishes in the sink I say....

I am grateful to even have a sink for these dishes to go in. I am grateful for the meal that was served on them, for the nourishment, and the time spent with my loved ones while we shared that meal together. 

When I see the dog hair all over the floor I say....

I am grateful to even have a floor to sweep. I am grateful for that crazy, wonderful dog. For all the laughs and love he provides.

When I see the clothes I say...

I am grateful to have clothes to put on my back. Grateful for the washing machine and dryer that make this process so much easier. 

And as I wipe down the coffee table (my nemesis) and the mantle and the windows I think of all the wonderful times that have been spent within these walls. This is my home. Not forever...who knows how much longer...but right now this is my home. And it is filled beautiful memories, special tokens and mementos...it has hosted wonderful gatherings, dinners, long talks, Dance Nights, and so much more. 

I still may get frustrated with the dirt from time to time...but dirt happens. Life gets messy. But arm me with Simple Green and a few rags....and I can spruce it right up just in time for the next wave to hit. 

Day 40: I am grateful for my home. For the protection it provides. For the memories it holds. For each and every inch.

Although tonight....when I get home...I will still be a little sad. Because my honey went to NY and my Kat went to Georgia. They are what make home "home". Miss you and love you both!! Now someone hand me the Simple Green!! Mwahahahaaa!

Day 41

"To err on the side of kindness is seldom an error."

Liz Armbruster

There are things that I don't write about and people that I don't write about here. Its not because I am hesitant to share these things, these thoughts, or these parts of myself. It is because I realize that everyone may not want to be written about. I try not to censor myself...but I also try to take care when I write.

So, this post is not very detailed...but that's ok. Our gratitude does not need to be loud. It just needs to be.

I received something in the mail today. Something from someone I would not have expected. It was a very kind and thoughtful gesture...from a very kind and thoughtful person. It kind of bowled me over. And I had to sit an ponder it for a while. This gesture was not necessary...but that's what made it so nice. And I was incredibly moved.

Day 41: I am grateful for the surprise package I got in the mail today...and I am grateful for the person who sent it. 

Day 42

"If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders."

Abigail Van Buren

Money. Ugh. Money can be wonderful and terrible and just all around confusing. No, this post is not about being grateful for $$$. Though I am grateful to be paid a fair wage, grateful for the money I have. I am truly grateful. Truly. But this is not just about money.

As I sit here doing my budget for the month, I stopped and realized how far I had come. First off....I actually do a budget! If you had told me that back in college, I would not have believed you. Because that girl was ignoring calls from debt collectors, paying minimum balances on her credit card, and blowing what little money she did have on potato crisps at Inn The Wood. Don't get me wrong...it wasn't that bad...but lose your grip on one little unsettled Old Navy credit card and things can start to swerve out of control. I think everyone goes through that time where they are figuring it all out. Some recover quickly...and some don't. 

I did....and that is due to my wonderful parents. My mom and dad raised me to be financially responsible. When I started wanting money for things, I had to get a job. Not in a demanding "you HAVE to get a job!!!" sort of way...merely explaining that you need money to do thing...and to get money, you need a job.  So they helped me get one! And you know what? I loved working. I loved bringing home a paycheck that was all mine. 

And as I grew, they continued to teach me responsible habits. They helped me get my first credit card (and only credit card to this day), but not until I went to college...and only for emergencies. They made sure I knew that it was my credit card, my responsibility, and I was to pay the bill. And I'm so glad that put so much weight on that. Because of that I've never let it get out of control. (Well...I don't count the Old Navy fiasco!)

They even helped me out when I lost my footing a little in LA. They helped me get back on my feet, no questions asked. And from that point they continued to teach me lessons. They urged me to start doing a budget, to put down on paper how much comes in and what goes out...and where it goes. Now I've developed this entire spreadsheet with formulas for my spending built in. I've even shared it with a few friends to help them out and its worked. My mom helped me set up my IRA so I could be financially prepared for the future. And my dad always shares tips he's learned openly and honestly. 

Its because of them that I am where I am now. Which is simply...having things under control. There was a time when I thought I would never be able to have a car...but I do. There was a time whew I never thought I'd be able to buy a house...but I can see that in my future now. I always thought that was just part of growing up...but I can see now that it was them who took the time to teach me.

Day 42: I am so grateful to my parents for teaching me financial responsibility. For having patience with me as I learned. I am grateful to them for setting such a great example...an example that taught me to take care of business, to save for my future, to give and help others whenever you can, and every once in a while....treat yourself. I am so grateful to for all these lessons....but the greatest lesson they taught me about money...is that money isn't everything. Love is.

Disclaimer: Every single potato crisp from Inn the Wood....was absolutely worth it!

Day 43

"You got to try a little kindness

Yes show a little kindness

Just shine your light for everyone to see

And if you try a little kindness

Then you'll overlook the blindness

Of narrow-minded people on the narrow-minded streets." 

Bobby Austin (Via Glen Campbell)

 

Tonight we went to the Hollywood Bowl. This is one of my favorite activities in the summer no matter who is playing. It just has a feel about it. Its magic. We took wine and dessert, found our cheap seats, and felt the sun go down while the music played.

The show was Glen Campbell's Goodbye Tour. We first got tickets because one of our favorite bands, Dawes, was going to be playing. (I've mentioned them before and I hope you've had a chance to check them out!) But this show was so much more than just a Dawes show. And it was lucky for us to be there.

In 2011 Glen announced that he was living with Alzheimer's. This tour, which was already scheduled, would be his last, his farewell. Once we realized what we had gotten tickets to, Mike and I were very excited. To be a part of his last show in Los Angeles was very special. Granted...neither of us were huge Glen Campbell fans and we had to look up some of the hits before we went. But during the show, we quickly realized just how much this man contributed to music. He had started out as a session musician and was a member of the famous Wrecking Crew before his solo career. He played on records for everyone from The Monkees to Merle Haggard to Elvis. He even played guitar on The Beach Boys "Pet Sounds"...not to mention filling in for Brian Wilson on tour with the group.

He's done so many great things.....but tonight at the Hollywood Bowl...he became something else. He became an example. To me at least. You could tell he was having a fantastic time. And he sounded incredible. Really incredible. But what hit me square in the heart....was that every other sentence that came out of his mouth was..."I'm so happy to be here." And he was. You could tell. Looking out over an enormous crowd that was there to celebrate him and his life. And it made me think....this person, who may be losing some of his faculties, who may be losing his grip on things due to this terrible disease...this person was grateful.

He was a walking, talking, singing, yodeling, guitar playing example of gratitude.He was so immersed in the moment. Living and loving every minute. Think of the situation. Its his last show in this city, at this spectacular venue, one of the last shows he'll play in his career....and he just kept saying "I'm so happy to be here." Wouldn't you be? In that situation, wouldn't you be overwhelmed with gratitude? He was. And it showed.

But you know what? I have a sinking suspicion that Glen Campbell has been a grateful man all his life. I don't think its just that this night knocked his socks off. I get the feeling that he has always been aware of how beautiful life is. And that is truly the way we should live each moment. Like its our last show at the Hollywood Bowl! Being in constant awe of what is in front of us.

Day 43: I am grateful for the example of gratitude given to me tonight. For the incredible performance from Glen Campbell. For the living breathing reminder to look around in each moment and find a reason to say "I'm so happy to be here."

Day 44

 "What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness."

John Steinbeck

Day 44: I am grateful for the HEAT!

I know. I know. Some people are hating it. And the East Coast is getting some seriously high temperatures.... but here in southern California....it is the perfect Saturday. 

Now...I don't say these things to brag about where I live...it is indeed beautiful....but that's not why the weather bowled me over. Its because I HAVE BEEN COLD FOR TWO YEARS! Haha!

It sounds dramatic...and it is....but its also true. Growing up, I adjusted to the weather easily. Never too hot, never too cold. But these days, I am always freezing! And I have truly felt that way for about two years. The past few summers never got too warm. And, trust me, we've had some doozies since I've moved out here, but these last few were very mild. I was always waiting for the heat to really hit...and when it never did, I just continued shivering. Its like there has been this chill, buried deep inside me, and I just couldn't shake it. I don't know why or how it happened. Maybe moving out here my blood adjusted. But come on!! I take extra hoodies to the movies, have a large (and growing) collection of blankets, and keep a space heater by my desk at work. Its absurd.

But today? Mike and I were out running errands and as I was walking across the grocery store parking lot I thought to myself...."Wow, its so hot." It instantly made me laugh because I felt this rush of joy at finally getting to say that, to feel that. I put my arms out, threw my head back, and just soaked it up. Wrapped in warmth. Finally. 

It's the little things people. Be grateful for the big things, the small things, the silly things, everything. There are so many things to be grateful for and we all may feel differently on these subjects at any given time. I'm sure once summer really rolls in, I'll be grateful for any cool breeze I can get! I'm certain I will. But that  will come....this is now. And right now, I giggle with each bead of sweat that makes its way down my face. Bring on the summer!!!

Day 45

"The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart."

Elisabeth Foley

Last night I had a reunion. A reunion with two dear sweet wonderful boys from my college class. We spent four very meaningful years together...hung out here and there afterward...lived in different cities...moved around...even when we lived in the same cities, we may not have seen each other as often as we could. So, when things aligned for Mike and I to go over for a little dinner party, we jumped at the chance. I think it had been about 3 years since we had seen each other, but there we were....sitting around a fire pit, drinking wine, and laughing...so much laughing. It was so comfortable, so natural, so real. You know how sometimes you catch up with old friends and spend the whole time sharing what you've been doing from then until now? Then...once all is said and done....once everyone is "caught up"...there not much more to be said? There are those nights....and there is nothing wrong with that....

Then there are nights like last night. Of course there was some quick catching up....I've been here...He's been there....We've done this....etc....and reminiscing as well...but it was so much more than that. It was taking four people who have grown and changed and lived and putting them in a room to see what happens now. 

And I am so happy to say that what happened was an absolute joy. It wasn't all about our past....who we were in college, where we've been or what we've done since... It was just us, as we are today, living in the moment. Focusing on the now, not dwelling too much on yesterday. Celebrating the person in front of your for who they are and not who they were. There was no pressure to feel as if you have to show how much you've accomplished. No pressure to prove yourself. We just spent an evening as the people we were in that moment. We just got to "be". 

Its not always like that with old friends. Like I said before, sometimes you just catch up and move on. And that can be a beautiful thing. But when you do find friends like these....friends you can fall in step with after so much time....try to acknowledge how special that is. Try to give yourself over to the moment. And enjoy your old friends as the new people they've become. 

Day 45: I am so grateful to Jordan Delp and Eric Solomon for their friendship. For an evening I enjoyed immensely and will never forget. For great food and so many laughs. I am grateful to all my friends who accept me for who I am today, who I have chosen to be. Until next time!

Day 46

"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted."

Aesop

I saw something awful the other day. A video was released of some school children verbally abusing their bus monitor, Karen. A lot of you may have seen or heard about it. The video was 10 minutes long. I got about 30 seconds in, heard the hateful remarks, saw poor Karen start to wipe tears away from her eyes and had to cut it off. It was unbelievable. The things these children were saying to this poor woman were just heartbreaking. I was shocked...and very disheartened. And just as my faith in humanity was about to be knocked down a notch....I saw something else....

That's what today's post is about....the "something else." I do not want to focus on the hatred and cruelty of those children and I hope they learn a very real lesson from all this.....I do want to focus on the kindness that came after. Almost immediately following the release of the video, someone started a Facebook page called "Kindness For Karen." And that's what it is. A place to stop by and send love, encouragement, and kindness to this woman. The organizer is planning on making it into a tangible book for Karen to keep. There was even talk of raising money to send Karen on a dream vacation. I have not kept up with the story too much since....but I believe I heard that they had raised about 550k pretty quickly. Now that is a dream vacation!!

As brokenhearted as I was from seeing the first part of this wretched video....my faith was immediately restored seeing the instant outpouring of love from incredibly kind strangers. I stopped by and sent her some love from LA...and I encourage anyone else that feels so moved to do the same. 

https://www.facebook.com/KindnessForKaren 

It got me thinking about kindness. And how easy it is. Kind words can do so much good and they don't cost a thing. Kind actions are even better. And when people come together in the name of kindness....look what can be accomplished. I've considered making my next blog project (after the 100 days are over) about kindness. I think it should be spread like wildfire.

Day 46: I am grateful for the people that reached out to Karen. To the people that choose kind words over hateful words.  I am grateful for everyone out there who chooses kindness.

Day 47

"A true friend unbosoms freely, advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all patiently, defends courageously, and continues a friend unchangeably." 

William Penn

(Photo credit....Jenn Spain!!)

I used to dislike Jenn Spain. I admit it. It's true. But let me explain!!

Jenn and I share a best friend. I met Kat in High School and Jenn found her in college. When Kat and I would talk on the phone or by email from our respective colleges, I would always hear "Jenn this and Jenn that!!" Being a younger and much more jealous person...I couldn't stand it! She was mine! I completely judged this person before I even met her. But then....

I met her. And she was wonderful. Full of life, easy going, open minded and hearted, a walking piece of art...and utterly fascinating. My first visit to to see Kat in Chicago set me straight on the lovely Jenn Spain. But whereas I accepted her after that....we weren't really friends until she moved to LA. She moved in right across town and thus began a beautiful friendship. Sharing Kat as a best friend became a wonderful gift. Because before long it wasn't Kat+Jenn or Sue+Kat...it was all of us. This friend of a friend became one of the best friends I've known. And that all really was due to Jenn herself.

Last August, for my birthday, Jenn got me the most incredible gift. She got me a cake decorating set! Fondant roller and mat, sugar sheet cutters, stencils, the works! This was not just an incredible gift because I love to bake....it was an incredible gift because it became something Jenn and I did together. It became our time.  We started to build elaborate cakes for our friends' birthdays and special events. We would spend hours working with sugar and batter and icing. It was a wonderful bonding experience for us...as well as completely delicious! That time is so special to me. We just shut out the world, laugh, talk, share, and create. I just realized that I'm talking about it like we don't do it anymore. Nothing could be further from the truth. Fact is...we are building a cake tonight. Thus my inspiration for this post! And I've been looking forward to it all day. To spend time with this amazing woman.

Jenn is the type of friend who would move mountains for you. At the first sign of stress or struggle, she'll be at your door saying "What do you need?" She is so incredibly aware of the people around her...of their wants and needs...of their moods. She picks up on things that others may not. And furthermore, once she picks up on your energy, she respects it. She'll know when to wrap you in her arms and when to leave you alone. She knows when its time to be silly and when its time to be serious. She is honest and loyal and constantly giving. But she doesn't cater to people. She'll be the first to have a discussion or debate. She will challenge you in the most wonderful ways. I think its because she really knows who she is. She knows what she believes and will stand up for it. When someone has that sense of self, there is no need to pretend or play games. And she is not afraid to ask when she needs something as well. Be it a shoulder to cry on or someone to lend and ear (or a couch)....or help making a cake! She knows she can rely on her friends just like we know we can rely on her. In the time we've known each other, I have not once felt uncomfortable with her...I have never felt judged. I have always been loved, accepted, and cherished. Because she truly cherishes all her friends. And isn't that the way it should be?

  

Day 47: I am so incredibly grateful to have Jenn Spain in my life. (and I'm grateful to Kat for snagging her and sharing her!) I am grateful to Jenn for always being there, always being herself, being open, honest, loyal...and one of the most free-spirited and fun people I know. She has taught me how to be a better friend...and she has done that by setting a wonderful example. 

Espana,

You are art, you are love, you are light. I am so grateful you came in to my life and I will never ever let you go. I so very much appreciate our talks, your wisdom, your openness and willingness to share your heart. I look forward to every cake making session....and every time I hear your "hello!" at my door, my heart fills. The world is so much brighter with you in it. Here's to years and years of friendship. I love you so.

Love,

Sue

Day 48

“The busy bee hath no time for sorrow.”

William Blake

Its getting to be toward the end of the day and this evening is pretty jam packed for me. I'm making a scrumptious dinner for my love and I. Wasabi crusted white fish over zucchini noodles and romesco sauce... drooling already. Then I'll be making a 4 layered cake to help out a dear friend...its for a Kindergarten class graduation. How cute?!? Then I'm helping Mike fill merch orders for the posters and t-shirts from the Spring tour (get yours here: http://checkinthedarkmusic.com/?page_id=721). And I need to fit in a workout somewhere in there! Why am I telling you my evening plans? Well...because it looks like I won't have a lot of time to devote to writing tonight. Normally I would just hold off and do 2 posts tomorrow.....

But then I got to thinking....how wonderful to have a night filled with so many things? And fun things to boot! Spending time with the man I love...cooking, which is one of my great joys....baking, another great joy...and helping 2 friends in the process. Sometimes when we get busy, we get stressed. And I was on the verge of getting stressed thinking about the nights events. But when I reflected on it a bit more, I realized that this is what life is all about. Filling our time with things we love, spending it with people we love, and helping one another. And that's what tonight is about. No need to stress. It'll all get done somehow. And if I'm up until 2 am and exhausted tomorrow....I'll at least be exhausted knowing that it was time well spent. 

Day 48: I am grateful to be busy!! To know that the tasks at hand are going to bring joy to people, help out friends in need, and fill my hours with work that I can really put my heart into.

(I promise you a good and juicy post tomorrow! Enjoy your evening, friends!)

Day 49

"Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude...I'm so grateful for everything you've ever given me. How can I explain what it means to be loved by you...I wanna show my gratitude, gratitude, gratitude..."

Paul McCartney, "Gratitude" from Memory Almost Full

Happy Birthday to the one and only, the great, incomparable Paul McCartney!! 70 years young!!

It's no secret that I adore Paul McCartney. He is my favorite musician (next to the great Mike Frieman, of course). And its more than the Beatles. I've always loved the Beatles. I know all the trivia, history, read the books, watched the footage...I went really in depth into my Beatles studies actually. But Paul...he came to me when I needed him. It was April of 2009...in a giant field with thousands of screaming fans...and all of my fellow CHMers, of course! It was the very first night of my very first year at Coachella and Paul was headlining. There, in a sea of people, my friends and I saw, hands down, the best concert of our entire lives. It was that night...that Sir Paul McCartney gave me back my optimism. 

I had been down, quite negative actually. I had suffered some heartache that I wouldn't wish on anyone and it really affected my mood, my personality, and my outlook on life. I had always been an incredibly positive person, but things took a turn and I became a downright pessimist for a while. And sometimes that just happens to people. You can experience something and it shatters your bubble, the protective shield you had up making the world look rosy. Mine had been shattered...and for about 2 years, I thought the world was out to get me. There was no hope for a brighter tomorrow because it could all be taken away at any given second.

And then I saw Paul. That night, in the desert. He shared with us not only his music, but his joy. He came out on that stage, 66 years old at the time, and you would've thought he was 20. He played every song you'd every want to hear....Beatles, Wings, solo work, new work....he played it all. And during those few incredible hours, he shared with us his pain. He shared with us his loss of John and George...and his wife Linda. Their love story is one of my favorites. Never apart, lived for each other, a true deep and wonderful love. That very night was the 11th anniversary of her passing. He played "My Love" for her and the entire crowd fell silent. It was stunning, heartbreaking, and you could feel him singing it directly to her. 

After those emotional moments, he returned to his high energy, joyful self and continued sending the crowd in dancing fits! It made me think...there watching this man who's music I admired...thinking of his life....losing his mother so young, his childhood being given over to fame, being judged and criticized throughout his career, subject to whatever anyone wanted to say about him. Yes...he was a Beatle. Yes, I'm sure it was an incredible life...but that doesn't mean it was all peaches and cream. Fame comes at a cost. Then, losing John and George. And losing the love of his life far too soon. He had known pain. Great pain. Great loss. Yet this man just exuded joy and love. I know it was a performance, but watching him you could see it was real. He was having just as much fun as we were. And you see it in the way he lives his life. Its in his lyrics, his charity work. Its there in everything he does. Hope. There is hope for a better tomorrow. There is joy in today. And there is love in our past, present, and future. We just have to be open to it and carry it with us. 

It was one of the best nights of my life and I shared it with some of my favorite people on earth. And I will always remember it as the night I started to believe again. Believe that there is life after loss. That pain does not need to strip us of our joy. The night I started to feel like my old self again. The return of optimism, the return of positivity.

Day 49: I am grateful to Paul McCartney for his contributions to the world of music and and for his example of joy and positivity. I am grateful to him for helping me see that life is all about your outlook. And I choose joy. I choose gratitude. I choose to enjoy the journey. I know he'll never know what he did for me that night....but I am forever grateful. Thank you for giving me my optimism back, Sir Paul. 

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

(this was the night....I'll never forget it)

Day 50

"There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself." 

John Gregory Brown

(Sporting his sweet stache at Christmas a few years ago!)

George Woody Thompson Jr. is a great man. A truly great man. He serves God and his church at Southwest Christian in East Point Georgia. He serves his community as a Cobb County Commissioner. All my life, as long as I can remember, he has served on boards and been a member one group or another. (I remember he would always let me go to Rotary with him. I love when we did that.) He has always been so involved with his community. Working tirelessly to help others. And he does. Every one in our hometown knows who he is. I couldn't go anywhere growing up without someone saying "You're Woody's daughter, aren't you?!". And I would proudly resopnd, "Yes, I am!" Even when I was home this past Easter and took a trip to the DQ! Some one there knew Woody Thompson. And yet again I was proud to say that I was his baby girl. He's made such an impression on our hometown. Not only as a County Commissioner, but as a citizen, a business owner, and a neighbor. Such an impression that they even named a room at the local library after him. The George Woody Thompson Jr. Community Room. I remember when I first saw it. I must have taken a hundred pictures. I was so tickled by that. Everywhere we go he will stop and talk to any and every person that would like a word. That's just who he is. George Woody Thompson Jr. is a great man...


...but I know him as Daddy. I know the man outside of work, outside of the community. The man at home. The man who would have his family in stitches doing his special Riverdance. The man who was at every softball game, every play, every special event. The man who can absolutely melt at the sight of his sweet labrador, Holly. Those two...they're head over heels for one another! The man who, no matter how old I get, still slips some money into my hand when he drops me at the airport...just because he loves me, just in case I need it. The man who gets totally broken up at our annual Christmas Eve viewing of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation....watching him get tickled and laugh at that movie is pure joy. Its infectious. I love that tradition. He's a man who is so sweet and loving with his wife, his partner of 38 years. He is a man of great faith....a man of great love....and he has been a wonderful Father. 


I have so many special memories with my father. Because he always let me go with him places. I mentioned earlier about the Rotary club. And I would always tag a long to work with him. We owned a dry cleaning place while I was growing up. I would go along and play in the machines and on the carts, then Daddy would slip me the key to the soda machine and let me take a grape Fanta. I can see it all in so much detail in my mind. When I got older, and the cleaners was in a different location, I would go with him some nights to change the "perc." I love going to do that. I don't know why I thought it was so neat...maybe because it made me feel useful...but probably just because I got to spend time with my Daddy. And I have so many memories of just sitting at the breakfast table reading the newspaper (I had the comics) over coffee. Summer vacations in Florida when he let me dive off of his shoulders into the pool. One time I even thought I'd be a daredevil and go down the slide without my floaties on and went straight under. Never to worry...my Father...the hero...dived in to save me. All of these memories are so clear in my mind. I can see every detail. Locked in there never to be lost. 


One of my favorite...and most detailed memories...in fact I think it may be one of my ealriest...was after church one Sunday when I was quite young. That day, the teacher had talked about how Jesus loves everyone, everyone in the world, and that we should to. I had fallen asleep in the back seat on the way home from church, like I did every Sunday...drooling on my arm and sweating in the sun, my skin sticking to the leather interior. We had gotten home, pulled into the carport on Plum Lane and my Dad came around and opened up the back door to wake me up and take me inside. I had been pondering the teachers lesson in my sleep and I remember saying...


"Daddy....Jesus loves everyone in the world, right?'


"Yes, baby. He loves everyone."


"So, does that mean Jesus loves the devil?"


"Yeah, he does. Jesus even loves the devil."


"Well...if Jesus loves everyone...and I'm supposed to love everyone like Jesus...does that mean I am supposed to love the devil too?"


I can see it so clearly. My father's face went blank. Kids say the darnedest things, right? Then a smile just crept across his face as he realized what his daughter had just asked him. And then he responded...


"Baby, why don't you just focus on loving every person in the world and let Jesus worry about loving the devil, ok?"


"Ok Daddy."


It was perfect. And all I needed to hear. I will never ever forget that moment as long as I live. 


I feel so lucky to have a Father who has always been there. I had many friends growing up who didn't have close relationships with their Dads, if they even knew them at all. I sometimes felt guilty for having it so good. A father who loved me unconditionally, supported my dreams, and never judged me. I know some of the choices I made weren't easy for him. Going far away to school. Moving across the country to Los Angeles. But not once did he discourage me. We discussed the decisions, but he always let me make them. He always let me be my own person and I appreciate that more than I can say. But every time I went away...be it going out on the weekend during high school...leaving to go to college in Cincinnati....standing on the driveway before I got in my car and drove to California...and every time we part to this day...he always looks at me and says..."Remember who you are." There were times when I was younger when that phrase would make me roll my eyes..."I know, Daddy!" As I grew older, I really started taking it to heart. And today, its one of the sweetest things I can hear and I look forward to it every time. And I do remember. I carry those words with me and carry my Daddy with me everywhere I go. I remember how he raised me, where I come from, and who I am. Its kept me strong. Its kept me honest. Its kept me faithful.


Our family has suffered through so much. My Father has had to endure some unimaginable pain...as we all have. And last year he had to deal with some health problems that gave us all quite a scare. (don't worry, he's fine now, thank goodness) I remember thinking...please, no more. I would've given anything to take away any and all pain. Any and all heart ache. I would trade anything in the world to ensure that he would never see another sad or painful day. Of course there's no way to strike that deal...and in this world you never know what you'll have to face next. But I've seen my Daddy bounce back. I've seen him stay strong. I've watched him keep the faith through everything. 


George Woody Thompson Jr. is a great man. A truly great man. And my Daddy. 


Day 50: I am grateful for my Daddy. For the incredible man he is. I am grateful to him for always being there. Always providing for us, loving us, making us laugh, and protecting us. For teaching us, for leading by example, for sharing his faith, his love, his time. For being more than just a father...for being a Daddy. And a great one. 


Daddy,


Thank you for....everything. For always providing, always loving. For teaching me responsibility and still knowing how to have fun...and for occasionally striking fear into the hearts of a few boyfriends. :-) 
It's 50 days until I'm 30 years old....can you believe it?! But through each and every phase of my life...from childhood, to teens, college, to adulthood (even one day when you walk me down the aisle)...every step of the way, I have always been your baby girl. And I always will be. I always know, no matter where I go, that I have a place... with you. I love you with all my heart. Happy Father's Day.


Your "Whee-nie",
Susan

Day 51

"There are not enough days in the weekend."

Rob Schmidt

Day 51: I am grateful for this glorious, glorious weekend!! Time that is mine...to do with as I please. Two days to relax or play, to do house work, yard work, watch TV, visit friends, work on personal projects, go to the beach, workout, or...as the case may be....sit around a very late breakfast while watching Back To The Future II with my fabulous roommates. 


However, sometimes you weekends are already spoken for. The past several weekends, I have been on the go. Don't get me wrong, it was wonderful! There were trips to San Fran and San Diego. There were concerts, dinner parties. It was a blast. And I am so grateful for each of those experiences. But today, when I woke up before my alarm, I could feel it. The weight of the past few months. I had a headache, a stuffy nose, and really felt like I was coming down with something. So this sleepy-eyed Sue, as I realized that I had absolutely nothing to do this weekend, rolled over and went right back to sleep! 


Of course, if you know me, I can't sit still. Its hard enough to get me to sit down long enough to watch a movie, much less relax for a whole weekend. So, the minute I (re)woke up, I thought of all the things I could get done this weekend. First, a bit of rest, maybe some vitamin C, and some couch time with my honey. Then I want to go enjoy this day. Go run my errands, clean my house (yes, those things are fun for me), hang out with my honey and enjoy the time just being at home. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend as well. Enjoy your time. And do with it what YOU please! 

Day 52

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

Howard Thurman

Day 52: I am grateful for YOU. Yes, you. Specifically. Reading this right now. Not just the general group of your that read this blog. I'm trying to reach further than that today. To the individual. To you.


I may know you personally. I may not. You could be my best friend, my Mom or Dad, my boyfriend, someone I met in passing once, or a complete stranger, someone that just stumbled upon this page. I am grateful for you. That you exist in this world.


Why? And this I really want you to take in as if I am talking to you directly....because I am. To you. Right now......


I am grateful for you because you bring something to this world that no on else can. You are a unique individual. You have specific talents, your own mind, your own heart, your own thoughts and feeling and views on the world that rolled all together make the one and only you. Never to be copied or duplicated. Isn't that incredible? I think we forget that sometimes. The world goes back and forth from saying everyone is special to no one is special. We ourselves go in and out of that mentality as we grow and change. But we have to try and remember that we are the only one of our kind. We have to embrace it and express it. 


So often we are afraid of the things that make us different. I know I am. I've let the fear of judgement keep me quiet in certain situations or discussions. Trying to avoid confrontation. I've done it so much, stayed so quiet, that I think I've lost touch of a little of myself. Lost touch with my views, beliefs, passions. I've let myself fade a bit into neutral. 


Life is short and there is no time for neutral. Embrace what makes you unique. Stand up for what you believe in. Be, fully, the one and only you to ever walk this earth. I am grateful for what you have inside you, for what you bring to the table. So...if you're like me and have been living in neutral....


It's time to come alive.

Day 53

"There is nothing in the world so much like prayer as music is." 

William P. Merrill

"Why waste money on psychotherapy when you can listen to the B Minor Mass?" 

Michael Torke

"If a composer could say what he had to say in words he would not bother trying to say it in music."

Gustav Mahler 

"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."

Berthold Auerbach

"A painter paints pictures on canvas.  But musicians paint their pictures on silence."

Leopold Stokowski    

 

"Without music life would be a mistake."

Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

What would the world be like without music? Thank goodness we'll never have to find out. It would really never even be possible anyway. Because as long as there is life...as long as there is energy even, there will movement, there will be sound. And as long as there is sound...there will always be music.

Music is a big part of my life. Always has been. Though I am not a musicians myself...but growing up in the theater, I was always surrounded by it. My mom sang in the choir at church and I followed suite...singing in the children's choir, then musicals with the teen choir. Actually, come to think of it, my involvement with the church choirs were really what carried me over in to theater in the first place. (I am so grateful to Southwest Christian Church, James White, and the youth group for that.) I played saxophone for two years in middle school...first chair the whole time! The only reason I quit was to join the 8th grade choir. Band and choir were held at the same time and you could only do one. At the time I wanted to be in choir with all my friends. I wanted to sing. So I made my choice.

That's when it started. The fear. The stage-fright. I was petrified to sing in front of the class. Had to give up a solo in the final concert because my nerves took over. The same thing happened in high school. We were doing a musical theater unit in our acting class and when it came time for performance, the music started, I opened my mouth, and nothing came out. Even singing in church or in groups, I was usually mouthing the words, but not actually making any sound. I don't know why it happened. I sang solos in the youth choir, even sang in my 7th grade talent show...but once 8th grade and high school hit, it all changed. It may have been that, going to a performing arts school, I was suddenly surrounded my some incredible talent. Some of these kids can really blow you away. I guess in my head, I thought, I could never do anything close to what they're doing and I closed up. And it stuck. Since then, I've had this paralyzing fear of singing in front of anyone. Which is terribly sad because its something I love to do. Just for fun. I've never had any desire to sing professionally...just for the joy of it. (Maybe that will be my next self expansion project!) 

However! There is still the car! On any given drive I can be found performing all the parts to my favorite musical or doing solo concerts of my favorite albums. That Prius transforms into my own private world, my own little theater. And it is a joy. My love of theater and my love of music really do go hand in hand. For me, both are about expression. Opening your soul up and see what comes out. And Music...it hits heights that words can't. It takes you places. It comforts you. Inspires you. It can rip you apart and put you back together. 

No ones musical interests are the same...and that's ok. Because we all find what we need. I think we are drawn to the artists that speak for us, that say what we want to say, but can't find the words...or the notes. There are times when listening to your favorite artist is like having a heart to heart with an old friend. A friend who is giving you advice or telling you its all going to be ok. Or making you laugh or letting you cry. And we call upon who we need at the time. There are days when I need to hang out with Miles Davis...days when I want to have coffee with Carole King. There are days when I want to dance with Beatles, protest with Dylan...days when I just need a hug from Garth Brooks! And they are always there. All you have to do is press play...or drop the needle on your record player...or sing out at the top of your lungs going 80 miles an hour down the 134.

In San Diego last weekend, we were dancing the night away at this bar where a pretty excellent DJ was spinning. He was playing everything from Whitney's Dance With Somebody to Bone Thugs N Harmony's Crossroads...a few crowd favorites were Regulate and even the Fresh Prince theme song. All old school. All fantastic. The crowd was going wild and everyone was dancing their hearts out. Then...at the end of the night, he closed his set with that old 90's favorite....Puff Daddy's I'll Be Missing You. We were floored. My friend and I both got a little teary. It was the first time I ever cried at a dance party! But that's what music can do. In an instant, it can take you somewhere, or remind you of someone, or reach way down inside you and grab something...and there's the release. It was a beautiful moment and we talked about it the whole walk home...smiling all the way.

This entire post was inspired because tonight I'm sitting in the recording studio with Check In the Dark as they record another track for the upcoming album. to watch them and the engineers work is absolutely astounding. Sitting up in this booth listening to Mike lay down the guitar part to a song...no vocals yet, just guitar. Hearing it broken down, each little intricacy, every note. Its such an honor to be able to witness this work. It makes you realize just how much goes into it. Music is science, its math, passion, heart, blood, sweat, and tears....all rolled in to one. I am a person lead by my emotions. Some people are lead by their head, some by their gut, me....by my heart. Its one of the best and worst things about me. And music...its emotion, its feeling...made audible.

Day 53: I am grateful for music. For each and every musician that has had the courage to share their work with the world. For every moment of comfort or joy or peace they have provided. For every song that has made me think, feel, or dance. For every note...I am grateful. 

One more story to share before I release you from my ramblings! I am enamored with this band named Dawes. Loved the first album and was so excited to get their second album, Nothing Is Wrong. It was last year sometime. I was getting ready to go somewhere...can't quite remember...and I put on the album. It went with me from the shower to the bedroom, getting dressed and blow-drying my hair. The music was sensational and the energy was infectious. Then, I'm sitting there doing my make-up, and this song comes on. It took a few minutes before I realized that I had completely stopped what I was doing, dropped my mascara on the floor, and was sobbing. This was not the heart-breaking type of sob, this was more of a release. With every word that came out of the speaker, I felt like they were singing directly to me. That this song has been written for me. They were telling my story, they were expressing my heart. They were explaining something to me that I couldn't wrap my head around before. And it was such a release. That moment gave me so much peace. A peace that I very much needed. It eased, ever so slightly, the ache in my heart that I felt ever since my brother passed. And it continues to give me peace each and every time that I hear it. I have no doubt that I will carry this song with me for always. I got a chance to meet Dawes at the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival this year. They were a little grumpy and a little worse for wear...maybe because they had just landed from Australia the night before...maybe because there were only 4 people in their meet and greet line. But I didn't care. I was just so happy to be there. I wanted to thank them, to express my gratitude. I wanted so badly to tell them about the great gift they had given me. But their mood didn't seem too conducive and I'm sure they had heard it a million times before, especially when it came to that song. So I let the moment pass, had my record signed, took my picture, and walked away. If given another chance, I would tell them. I would thank them....

And I would also have them sign another record since ours was lost/stolen later that night!! 

Anyway...I'm sure you have a song like that. I'm sure everyone does. I hope so. That's the beauty of music. 

The song? It's called A Little Bit Of Everything. I'm not going to post the lyrics or try to shove it down your throat. I'm just going to suggest....maybe give it a listen.