Day 49

"Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude...I'm so grateful for everything you've ever given me. How can I explain what it means to be loved by you...I wanna show my gratitude, gratitude, gratitude..."

Paul McCartney, "Gratitude" from Memory Almost Full

Happy Birthday to the one and only, the great, incomparable Paul McCartney!! 70 years young!!

It's no secret that I adore Paul McCartney. He is my favorite musician (next to the great Mike Frieman, of course). And its more than the Beatles. I've always loved the Beatles. I know all the trivia, history, read the books, watched the footage...I went really in depth into my Beatles studies actually. But Paul...he came to me when I needed him. It was April of 2009...in a giant field with thousands of screaming fans...and all of my fellow CHMers, of course! It was the very first night of my very first year at Coachella and Paul was headlining. There, in a sea of people, my friends and I saw, hands down, the best concert of our entire lives. It was that night...that Sir Paul McCartney gave me back my optimism. 

I had been down, quite negative actually. I had suffered some heartache that I wouldn't wish on anyone and it really affected my mood, my personality, and my outlook on life. I had always been an incredibly positive person, but things took a turn and I became a downright pessimist for a while. And sometimes that just happens to people. You can experience something and it shatters your bubble, the protective shield you had up making the world look rosy. Mine had been shattered...and for about 2 years, I thought the world was out to get me. There was no hope for a brighter tomorrow because it could all be taken away at any given second.

And then I saw Paul. That night, in the desert. He shared with us not only his music, but his joy. He came out on that stage, 66 years old at the time, and you would've thought he was 20. He played every song you'd every want to hear....Beatles, Wings, solo work, new work....he played it all. And during those few incredible hours, he shared with us his pain. He shared with us his loss of John and George...and his wife Linda. Their love story is one of my favorites. Never apart, lived for each other, a true deep and wonderful love. That very night was the 11th anniversary of her passing. He played "My Love" for her and the entire crowd fell silent. It was stunning, heartbreaking, and you could feel him singing it directly to her. 

After those emotional moments, he returned to his high energy, joyful self and continued sending the crowd in dancing fits! It made me think...there watching this man who's music I admired...thinking of his life....losing his mother so young, his childhood being given over to fame, being judged and criticized throughout his career, subject to whatever anyone wanted to say about him. Yes...he was a Beatle. Yes, I'm sure it was an incredible life...but that doesn't mean it was all peaches and cream. Fame comes at a cost. Then, losing John and George. And losing the love of his life far too soon. He had known pain. Great pain. Great loss. Yet this man just exuded joy and love. I know it was a performance, but watching him you could see it was real. He was having just as much fun as we were. And you see it in the way he lives his life. Its in his lyrics, his charity work. Its there in everything he does. Hope. There is hope for a better tomorrow. There is joy in today. And there is love in our past, present, and future. We just have to be open to it and carry it with us. 

It was one of the best nights of my life and I shared it with some of my favorite people on earth. And I will always remember it as the night I started to believe again. Believe that there is life after loss. That pain does not need to strip us of our joy. The night I started to feel like my old self again. The return of optimism, the return of positivity.

Day 49: I am grateful to Paul McCartney for his contributions to the world of music and and for his example of joy and positivity. I am grateful to him for helping me see that life is all about your outlook. And I choose joy. I choose gratitude. I choose to enjoy the journey. I know he'll never know what he did for me that night....but I am forever grateful. Thank you for giving me my optimism back, Sir Paul. 

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

(this was the night....I'll never forget it)