Day 96

"The soul is healed by being with children."

English Proverb

Day 96: I am grateful beyond measure for my darling niece, Phoebe. 

She's great, isn't she? This perfect little mini-person that knows only love and curiosity. I am constantly in awe of how her existence, her introduction into this world, changed everything. Being a (self-proclaimed) aficionado of all things "love", I am well versed in familial love, romantic love, the love of a friend, a pet, etc... These are feelings we have known and developed since birth (if we're lucky)...but it is rare to experience (and by experience I mean be completely knocked upside the head by) a totally new kind of love. From the moment she was born, my capacity and understanding of love stretched and expanded immediately. Before I even met her, held her in my arms, or smelled that incredibly intoxicating baby smell (you know the one)...before any of that, I felt her in my heart. This totally new and overwhelming feeling that I had never know before. The love that an aunt feels for a niece. I did not expect it to hit me so hard. I have worked with children, I've been a baby-sitter, I've felt love for so many wonderful children in my life. But this was different. She was ours. A part of our family. She was a piece of my sister. My parents. My grandparents. A piece of my wonderful brother-in-law and his parents, grandparents, and so on all the way to the beginning of time. This little soul had traveled so far to get here. And here she is. We get to love her and care for her and watch her grow into whatever it is that she chooses to be. 

Back in 2007, my family suffered two horrible tragedies. We lost my big brother Brian and my dear sweet Mamaw only 6 short weeks apart from each other. Both of these deaths were sudden, unexpected, and completely earth shattering. Our family was very fragile after that. We all live in different parts of the country and coming together for holidays or birthdays or any other occasion was engulfed in so much sadness. There was still love there. Its just that our losses were preventing us from truly coming together....But one tiny little heartbeat changed all that. When Phoebe came into the world, new life was breathed into our family. At the drop of a hat, any one of us will jump on a plane to be together, to gather around and watch in awe as this child reminds us that life goes on. That we still have each other and so much love to give. 

Its really amazing. She's not even 2 years old and she's already teaching her family life lessons. Now, I know that her soul purpose in this world was not just to heal our family...but she did. And she will go on to do so much more. We don't know what her purpose will be yet. She'll discover that for herself. And I'll get to watch it all happen.

I got this in the mail on Monday night....

The most beautiful picture I've ever seen...that traveled all the way from those tiny little hands in Arlington, Virginia right to my door in Los Angeles. I was overcome with emotion...and so much gratitude that this amazing new life...became a part of mine.

Ubie loves you so much Pam-cakes. To the moon and back.